Staring into the Abyss

I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while now, but I wanted to wait until I could bring hope to my readers. I’m sure some of you reading this know what I mean when I say, “staring into the abyss,” that great darkness of beyond. Let’s face it, life can be pretty disappointing at times. I’m 32 and nowhere near where I thought I’d be at this point in my life. I am twice divorced, with failed after failed miserable relationship. My job stresses me out so bad I literally cry, at work. I make more money than I ever have before, but because of this I do not qualify for government assistance. So I make too much to receive help, but not enough to pay all my bills. Not to mention the mountain of debt I racked up during my last marriage, because let’s face it, his credit was shot when I met him so everything had to go in my name. So after the divorce, guess what, I got stuck with ALL of the debt. Because of my financial situation, I now have to send two of my brightest stars across the seas to live with their father.

Yeah, sometimes the abyss looks pretty good. I mean, when you take into account that Kim Jong wants to blow the U.S. into oblivion unless the earthquakes and hurricanes get us first (and fires out West I believe), what else is there?

But then I realized, if you can hold on, if you can just survive one more day, one more hour, one more minute, you can get through it. I didn’t realize this on my own; I had to live it. Sometimes life seems overwhelming and you wonder when it will all end, but then you go to sleep, and when you wake up you get out of bed, you put on your clothes and each step, each decision you make propels you into the next one and you realize, “I can do this.” But you can’t do it by looking at tomorrow, or the weeks and months ahead. You do it by looking at today and the next moment.

Matthew 6:34 says, “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today” (NLT). For years I thought I knew what this verse said and what it meant. However, only recently have I truly been able to appreciate it. Today, the present, is the only moment we really have. Tomorrow is not promised and so today we have to make the most of our decisions and choices. Our fears and worries about tomorrow have to wait, because we have to get through today.

If I can just get through today. If I can do all the things that are expected of me today, then maybe I can do it again tomorrow. At the end of the day, I get in my bed, and I lay my head down grateful that the day is over. I stop any thoughts of tomorrow from popping up because I can worry about them tomorrow. I am not saying don’t plan ahead, but I am saying don’t be so consumed with the future that you stress yourself out in the present. And the truth is, if you can just get through today, then you can get through tomorrow. 

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